Dennis Kane’s Excellent Montreal Canadiens Blog

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Psychedelic Pucks, Ilya Kovalchuk, And Gary Bettman’s Erotic Dreams May 18, 2008

Ilya kovalchuk scored in overtime against Canada to give Russia the gold medal in the World Championship.

Wasn’t Ilya Kovalchuk The Man From Uncle’s cool sidekick?

Remember when Kovalchuk, in the World Junior’s a few years back, skated in on a breakaway to Canada’s empty net and waved one arm as he went in?

I’ve always wondered why someone hasn’t smashed their stick across his face since then in payback for such a showboat move.

In other news:

Did you know that Versus TV is thinking about bringing back the tracking puck? Remember it? It was around for a season back in the 1980’s, or maybe it was the 1970’s, when NBC, or ABC, or CBS, decided that American fans couldn’t see the puck very well, so these pucks had a coloured flare on it on TV for these blind Americans.

It was horrible, distracting, and ridiculous. A survey at the time showed that Canadian hockey fans couldn’t figure out why any of this was necessary. The common consensus was that Canadian hockey fans had no problem at all seeing the puck, so why couldn’t Americans?

I read back then that when one of these pucks went into the stands, ushers went looking for them and made the fans give them back because they cost over $200 each.

People still make jokes about these tracking pucks. And now they might be coming back. Imagine.

In other news:

Pittsburgh has taken out the Philadelphia Flyers in a lopsided 6-0 game in a lopsided five-game series. Good riddance to the Flyers.  Flyer fan Frank the Tank says the Flyers are the most exciting team in hockey.

So all we need now is for Detroit to finish off Dallas so we can see Crosby and Malkin take on Datsyuk and Zetterburg.

Anyway, it’s summer, and I’ll watch if it doesn’t get in the way of me going to the beer store, or working, or cutting the lawn, or playing with the cat. I’m still recovering from the Habs.

Cripes, where are those damned Expos?

Pittsburgh and Detroit are exactly what Gary Bettman has dreamed about when his wife rolls over and goes to sleep.  Wouldn’t want a Canadian team in the final.

Heaven forbid. 

And the blog carries on.


5 Responses to “Psychedelic Pucks, Ilya Kovalchuk, And Gary Bettman’s Erotic Dreams”

  1. danielleia Says:

    How about night games (lights out) with glow in the dark pucks? For fun.

    “So all we need now is for Detroit to finish off Dallas so we can see Crosby and Malkin take on Datsyuk and Zetterburg.”

    And Franzen.

  2. maggie Says:

    Good plan, but I think that a black light might be just a little more awesome than glow in the dark…mostly because I want my white habs jersey to glow under the black light….

  3. Dennis Says:

    You see, Dani? Why can’t you be more like Maggie, a good Habs fan.
    And about those night games – maybe the players could wear those florescent skeleton costumes.

  4. der Habinator Says:


    So, U & the Dalai Lama are potential soul mates, eh? And why not? Of course, when it comes to `pucks’ you obviously do not share the same philosophy because the Dalai is all for `enlightenment’ whereas in this respect you seem to be more in favour of the`what u see is what U get’ school of thought. Hmm, perhaps there is room for compromise here – only teams such as the Sabres/Leafs/Sens/Flyers who clearly have trouble `seeing’ the puck should use the illuminated disc. Obviously, teams such as the Habs who are already `in the know’ have no need for such a cheap prop.

    Pens & Wings, good match-up. Cherry called it. Me? I KNOW that the Habs should be there, certainly the smart spanking the Pens administered to the Flyers clearly shows how unbelievably lucky they were against us. We woulda taken the Pens in 6.

    La P. LaPlaPlaPlaP. A laptop IS a computer. Whether or not it is `better’ is moot – depends on what you need/want it for. Also, U are in need not only of a good dictionary (Webster’s sucks, try a Random House) but a grammar, an encyclopedia, again go with Britannica (Wikpedia & Encarta suck), as well as a good book on aesthetics so you can better apprehend the true beauty of hockey against which your unhealthy fixation on the Sabres clearly mitigates. As for flowers, ha! U should be sending me flowers (wild roses would be nice), chocolates, a trusty automobile as well as a new laptop (Toshiba is good) in partial return for all the moral support, concrete advice and kind words I have extended to you. Sigh, the younger generation, their priorities are topsy-turvy.

    Maggie, haven’t U noticed? Hab’s sweaters are naturally luminescent … hehehe.

  5. danielleia Says:

    Black lights! Yes! Sabres and Habs both have white jerseys. But then again, maybe black lights are a little to risqué if you know what I mean… I don’t know what kind of stains they have on their jerseys.

    About Wikpedia, it’s just there. I know it’s not always 100% correct, but I use it (but not for school!). Toshiba Toshiba Toshiba… what about Apple? SO much better.

    You mean, Habs are luminescent because they’re hot, right?

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