Dennis Kane’s Excellent Montreal Canadiens Blog

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Rodney Helps Me Out In Dealing With Those Flyers Fans May 1, 2008

Man, those Flyers fans are a tough crowd. They’re letting me have it in the comments section. So I’ve done what I had to do. I’ve prayed to the man above to help, to give me guidance, to make me strong against these folk in Pennsylvania who are rubbing their hands in glee at this very moment at the thought of their team taking out my team.

Dear Rodney, please help.

“Don’t worry, Dennis. They come from a bad neighbourhood. I put my hand in some cement there and felt another hand.”

Flyers fans drink too much. When they give a urine sample, there’s olives in it.

Flyers fans take viagra and prune juice. They don’t know whether they’re coming or going.

They asked Flyers fans to be poster boys – for birth control.

Martin Biron’s mother had morning sickness after he was born.

The Flyers complained to their psychiatrist that everyone hates them. He said they were being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met them yet.

When Daniel Briere was a kid his parents moved a lot. But he always found them.

When Derian Hatcher was born, the doctor slapped his mother.


Sorry, Flyers fans.

In all seriousness, what I’ve garnered from the comments this past week from Flyers fans is this:

They don’t feel their team is getting enough respect. They’re complaining that when I write about Montreal losing, it’s not because the Flyers played well, it’s because the Habs played poorly.

And they don’t think I’m giving enough credit to Martin Biron.

So I’ve been thinking about this. And really, the big reason Philly is doing so well is because of Martin Biron. It’s not because the Flyers are on fire. Daniel Biron’s been good but not great, and also RJ Umberger. But Mike Richards hasn’t, or most of the Flyers forwards, for that matter. And whatever John Stevens did to make his defence so tight around their net, it’s really working.

The reason I say Montreal is not playing up to their standards is because they’re not. They won the eastern division, they scored more goals during the regular season than any other team in the league. And their power play was the best in the league. They played fire wagon hockey all year, they were dynamic, fast, and were a handful for others teams on most nights.

But not now.

During these playoffs, their power play has fizzled and their scoring in general is way off, and that includes the Boston series also. The guys who lit it up during the season, the Kostitsyn’s, Higgins, Kovalev, Plekanec, are quiet now.

So Montreal isn’t playing up to scratch, and Philadelphia is riding with a red-hot goaltender. (And don’t forget, Flyers fans, there’s been a lot of goal posts hit.)

I don’t know why these fans have a problem with this thinking.

And one last little thing. After Philadelphia scored late a couple of games ago, Flyers defenceman Kimmo Timonen turned around and laughed in Tom Kostopoulos’ face. This is the kind of thing that turns off most hockey fans. It lacked class, you don’t see this type of mocking often, and when Kostopoulos smacked him in the mouth for this, I’m sure hockey fans, even Habs haters, nodded their heads approvingly.



7 Responses to “Rodney Helps Me Out In Dealing With Those Flyers Fans”

  1. der Habinator Says:


  2. der Habinator Says:


    Do other people have this problem where comments are wiped out when the submit button is pushed??

  3. Dennis Says:

    Never seen this before, Habber. It’s a first for me. Keep trying, please.

  4. John Anderson Says:

    Maybe a hockey expert can fill me in. How many points do you get for hitting a goal post with the puck? I keep thinking it’s zero but with all the Canadien fans saying over and over that their team has hit the post so many times I’m beginning to think that 3 hit posts = one goal. Maybe someone should teach them to hit the NET. Go Flyers.

  5. der Habinator Says:


    Happens often with me. Redo entries all the time so I guess I’m doing sx wrong. In any case …

    Lots of action. Good Blog. Congrats!

    Phlunkies phlunkies everywhere/Nary a brain in sight …. heheheh, luuuv to co-opt classical lit to my less then elevated ends.

    JA, please, don’t apologize for crashing the Hab site – phlunkies only make us look good and personally, I luuuv to baff you li’l fuzzy-brained meeces around. No, you don’t need to be a hockey `expert’ to understand that hitting the goal posts an inordinate number of times game after game is merely shorthand for saying that luck is playing a bigger part than usual in determining the outcomes of games. Duh…. anything else you need clarified? Of course there is: no, the Flyers have not `figured’ anything out re strategy-wise, indeed the mere idea that any one of them could possibly engage in any kind of cerebral activity is laughable; no, the Flyers have not `deserved’ a single win yet, the fact they have won more games is entirely attributable to the following facts: 1) hot/lucky goalie, which is fine – that’s hockey; 2) hot goal posts, which is fine – that’s hockey; 3) hehehe, big asses – yup, the Flyers are too slow and lacking in talent to compete over the entire playing surface so they have decided that the best tactic is to, well, cheat on defence, that is, to back into their own net area in the hopes that the puck will hit them and they will be able to clear the rebound, which is fine, that’s hockey and this tactic is tried and true … in the short term which, of course, is what the the play-offs are very much about, although this style never wins the cup; 4) the fact that it has worked so well so far is attributable to two lamentable failures on the part of the Habs, to wit: a) they are making that one-too-many-pass way too often, b) they are not going to the net for rebounds which often are simply lying there like twinkies on Leaf fans’ laps. And, no, Carbo is not whining – spare me the bs there – but he and his staff are remiss in not correcting a) and b) above.
    But, hey, JA, that you don’t know your hockey is to be expected, however being American you do know your flags and you are bang on about that dumb Maple Leaf flag we’re stuck with – a dood called Trudeau and his equally short-sighted phlunkies are responsible for it as well as a host of other idiot decisions. It’s relatively young and why in the world the Canadien’s logo wasn’t used only emphasizes our politicos lack of good judgement.

    Linguistic factoid: French is odd in that it can in certain, unpredictable cases, use the singular form of the definite article with a plural noun thus, the Habs can be and often are referred to as le Canadiens.

    Sigh, when it comes to hockey, you phlunkies are too easy. It’s more challenging to baff the Punkette around. Speaking of whom, Punkette, in recognition of your fair-weather Habbing, I have decided that you merit an honorific before your name. Thus, henceforth, I shall adress you as la Punkette, la P for short. I know that it will thrill you to know that amongst all the extant punkettes and all possible ones, that you will stand out like, well, the tail – the prettiest, most useful part – on the Sabre donkey because only you will be known as la Punkette. Yes, the feminine aspect is redundant, but the `la’ does add a dash of vavoom, a little curve to your otherwise punky rectangular Sabre self, eh?
    As for your site … hmmm, even `eyes on the prize’, which tends to be a tad too busy, has pics of both sexes. No girls? A closet sexist here? Discriminating against male hockey fans? Hey, la P, if you must post pics at least make them interesting. Overall, your site can be summed up as: post-post-modern neo-rococco romper room. Or, in a word – cutesy. La P, I know that being a Sabre fan severely handicaps you in, well, all ways, including your aesthetic sensibilities and, believe me, you do have my sympathies, but less spiff and more substance is better – for example, try an article or two. Of course, being fair-minded and unbiased, I shall visit your site from time to time to see if you make improvements to it. Hint: if pics you must have, then sexy girlie ones are better.

  6. der Habinator Says:


    Forgot: Habs in seven!!

  7. danielleia Says:

    Devil Hab: You’re still Devil Hab (you like it). Blah blah “substance” posts. I do those during the regular season. The majority of my readers are American (aka A.D.D. Nation) and want to know whether or not [fill in the blank player] has a lady friend (well, lately anyways). Give me a break will ya? You try blogging without your team in the playoffs. I’d rather not analyze the reasons why we didn’t make the playoffs. Thats depressing. All my boys are either getting surgery (or recovering) or off playing in the Americans. We rarely get the updates! Everyone is talking about “Will Ryan Miller be signed?” Which by the way, Miller has a blog on the MAXIM website. Have fun looking for THAT at work. About being sexist, what girls would I post on my site? That lady on Versus who shoves her chest in the players faces when she interviews them? NO. Ice girls? Oh, HELL. NO. But I’ll think of something. I wouldn’t want to be unfair to the guys seeing I get a lot of them reading too.

    Kaners: Woo, sorry about the crazy comment above. Don’t worry about the Flyer fans. They’re only jealous. Besides, I get a day off from der Habinator.

    “The Flyers complained to their psychiatrist that everyone hates them. He said they were being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met them yet.” Me and Rodney would get along very well.

    “Flyers fans drink too much. When they give a urine sample, there’s olives in it.” Buffalonians are the second U.S. city for beer consumption. I’m so proud. Two years ago we were #1.

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