Dennis Kane’s Excellent Montreal Canadiens Blog

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Al Jazeera, A Fan Mugging, Bin Laden, And Some Excellent Excuses For The Habs April 18, 2008

I think it’s important that you should know that:

The Middle-East newspaper Al Jazeera prints the NHL standings.

This is the paper that Bin Laden and his band of bearded brutes use when they want to send a message to the wicked west.

Is it possible that Bin Laden reads the NHL standings?

Could Bin Laden be a Habs fan?

This is my own opinion, but I would have to guess that Bin Laden grew up cheering for the Broad Street Bullies, is now rooting for the Bruins, and also likes Sean Avery.

I wonder if Bin Laden and his greasy pranksters clip the standings out of the Al Jazeera sports section and have a hockey pool every year.

There’s a rink in a mall in Dubai where locals skate and play hockey. Maybe Bin Laden and pals get together at 11:30 Wednesday nights for their beer league game.


In a shocking display of poor sportmanship, the Boston Bruins have refused to let the Montreal Canadiens win easily, which explains why several Montreal Canadiens still haven’t arrived for the series. “I haven’t tried because I thought Boston was supposed to not try,” explained Montreal forward Christopher Higgins. “Somebody should have told me.”

 “It’s not right,” added Michel Ryder. “They’re skating fast and checking us and everything. Boston’s not playing fair. They’re cheating.”

“Nobody told me it was going to be hard,” complained Tomas Plekanec. “And anyway, I was really good in the regular season, and now you want me to be good in the playoffs too?”


A Montreal fan got beat up in Boston the other night. It’s impossible that he may have deserved it. Okay, so maybe he was wearing his Habs jersey, and maybe he was yelling “Go Habs Go” at the top of his lungs, and maybe he told these Bruins fans that their team sucked, and maybe he was drunk and got right in their faces, and maybe he drooled all over them, and of course he wasn’t loud and obnoxious on someone else’s turf.







5 Responses to “Al Jazeera, A Fan Mugging, Bin Laden, And Some Excellent Excuses For The Habs”

  1. Beatnik Says:

    The boys should give their heads a shake or visit a shrink before the next game if that’s their thinking or better still consider taking up cricket.

    Go Sean go!!!!!

  2. Dennis Says:

    Beatnik, it was tongue in cheek, in case you took it seriously. You didn’t take it seriously, did you?

  3. der Habinator Says:


    First, the game: it was over almost from the get-go when Chara grabbed the puckless Hab slammed him against the board then threw him to the ice with the ref standing there.
    Chara looked at him, he looked back, the Habs looked at them both &, well, nobody did nothin’. There it was nice n’ neat like cheap scotch only on ice. Game over. And, yes, yet another reason to get rid of the abusive Instigator bs (put in by a hypocritical `violent’ nird-negghead sneak and liar) – the refs do nothing way too often and the inability of a team to rectify things when this is the case always works in favour of the abuser which means teams such as the Bruins/Leafs/Phillies invariably profit from this situation. Ahh well, c’est la vie. At least I got to polish off the book I was reading on Western History. Factoid: For Whoop-up which was near to Lethbridge was run by Americans under the US flag – they couldn’t sell booze in the States and, at the time, the Indians moved as they wished following the buffalo. Sadly, booze – rather the poisonous shit they passed off as such – devastated the cultures of the various peoples. Sadly, Canadians were complicit in this viscious prolonged assault and we should take a long hard look in the mirror whenever we start to preach from our soapbox – sorry, sports fans, despite the drivel that spews forth from the mouths of the smarmy ideological power smurffs who are currently pontificating on our supposed virtues, we are NOT morally superior to anybody anywhere anytime.

    That said, the Habs are! Yup, therein lies our traditional wellspring of resiliency in the face of bias and outright preference. Sadly, this team has not yet learned how to draw on this resource in a consistent way. Sadly, we still have not acquired/reanimated the in-your-face-screw-you-we’re-comin’-at-you-non-stop intensity that is absolutely essential to overcome all the bs that is heaped on top of all the obstacles that bar the way to play-off success. Sadly, up & down simply doesn’t cut it – it’s gotta be all up all the time. As for the kid, hey, he’ll be back!

    Second: Trucker Dood – spoken like a trooo Sen Fan! Hmmm, was that your eighteen wheeler that just backed over your team? I’m sure I heard some squeaking & squealing & squishing.

    Third: I was drop-jawed astounded by the amazingly silly intro to the Sen’s last game – LOL, the walkin’ talkin’ condom holding forth on, well, …. pass the kleenex please. No wonder they lost, they were too damn embarassed by their own idiot organization to show their faces. They `came’ and they went … asap.

    Fourth: Where’s Danielleia? Has she gone the way of Lawrence? Disappeared into the woodwork like a leetle catneeep mouse? Punkette, come back – I miss having you to baff around. And, hey, you`patined’ pretty good, even scored once in a, well, long while ..hehehhehe.

    Fifth: Bang on, DK, re Higgins, Ryder, et al. – they’ve gotta stop worrying about the Bruins and start making the Bruins worry about them. Hehehehe, sorta like Bin Laden, eh?

  4. Dennis Says:

    I’m wondering if Mike ran her off. (Punkette.)

  5. Beatnik Says:


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